Thursday, February 25, 2010

Viewing Tips for The Spotlight Dance of Figure Skating

No offense to any of the other three disciplines we’ve witnessed in figure skating over the past two weeks, but for an awful lot of people… TONIGHT is why we’re here. Whether we’re talking Peggy in ’68 Grenoble, Janet in ’72 Sapporo, Dorothy in ’76 Innsbruck, Linda in ’80 Lake Placid… the list stretches on for another mile from there, but the point is the same: what people remember year in, year out, is the ladies’ event.

So here are a few things to help you enjoy your TV viewing experience a little better:

1) Since we know only the final flight of skaters (or maybe final two flights) are likely to be shown on NBC, go to NBC’s Olympics website (you should be able to do so by clicking on their little thingy on the left side of the screen) and guess at how many skaters in the lower groups will make it to air. My guesses:

--Tugba Karademir (in 21st, skating 1st), because she’s, um, skating first and I believe she’s been fortunate enough to have NBC cover all her Olympic skates to date—why stop now?

--Cynthia Phaneuf (in 14th, skating 7th), because she’s Canadian (‘nuff said)

--Either Kiira Korpi (in 17th, skating 8th) because she’s a pretty blonde…(sorry, trying to think like a TV producer here)

--or Cheltzie Lee (in 18th, skating 9th) because they covered her the other day

…but probably not both.

2) Might also be fun to guess at what 2nd-to-last group skater (if any) gets cut from the show. My money’s on Ksenia Makarova, Russia’s surprise national champion who nonetheless has been outscored by Alena Leonova. But when you see Scott’s former favorite, Georgia’s Elene Gedevanishvili, get ready to cop a squat… because she’s the last skater in that penultimate group, and I doubt NBC goes anywhere for long after that.

3) Make popcorn. I don’t mean that nasty microwave stuff, either. Real oil, real butter. Hey, it’s not like 26 million people are going to be watching YOU in a tiny slip of a dress anytime soon.

4) Keep track of how many times Scott says “Nicely done.” (Incidentally, there’s a pretty funny story about Scott and that phrase in my upcoming book release Skating on Air. Become a fan on Facebook! OK, shutting up about that now…)

5) Pay attention if Sandra audibly gasps. It’s usually not good news.

6) Have tissues ready for Joannie Rochette. Have more tissues ready if she medals.

7) Be ready to call in sick (or at least late) to work tomorrow, especially if you live on Eastern Time… this will probably go at LEAST as long as the Men’s final did last week.

8) Finally, if you’re so inclined, go register at as they’ve been telling me for several days about their access to all things Olympic… and I’m late in passing this along… so visit ‘em if you can. Thanks!

We’ll break tonight down as soon as I can get things written/posted! Oh… and whatever you do, DON’T go watching American Idol’s “results show”! It’s mostly filler on results night… you can always find out who got cut about 5 minutes after the show is over… and really, why would you want to see singer wanna-bees burst into tears when you can watch extremely hard-working, talented athletes burst into tears? Am I right, people??

3 comments: said...

What an amazing performance in spite of tragic circumstances. Even if she doesn’t win a medal for her performance, Rochette deserves a gold medal for persevering through an extremely difficult time. Her story makes me want to watch her in figure skating just to see how she does in the rest of the Olympic competition.

Lotta said...

You forgot to add "Take a shot anytime Scott makes weird 'noises' when someone jumps." XD

I was more excited for men's and dance than I am for ladieezzz. Just hand KYN the damn gold already and let's enjoy a bitchfest for silver and bronze!

Anonymous said...

elene is without a doubt the hottest skater of all...too bad she had to skate last in the group, got cold and fell

ksenia is a cutie who has a great future...wonder if she will choose to continue skating for russia.

and mirai is going for the gold in 2014...bring the gold in skating back to cali