Before I get started: the plan is to compile the results of Interactive Challenge #1 (best and worst episodes of S4) on NEXT week’s post, so stay tuned for that.
Meanwhile, Interactive Challenge #2 is on deck! Details will come at the bottom of this post!
If you were here in the early part of TGD Season 4, you might recall me mentioning the idea of Shaun now keeping a mental book-of-love in his incredible brain-- a book filled with blank pages, getting written upon, one by one, as his brave new world with Lea opened a little wider.
Now that the “book” has closed on S4, what sort of lessons did it contain for Shaun? And Lea, for that matter? She’s probably been in love at least once before-- cough ex-husband cough-- but I think it’s safe to say that her love for Shaun is unlike anything she’s ever felt for anyone else.
Well, I took a stab at it-- jotting down the highlights, as I saw them, in the 20-chapter evolution of #Shea for 2020-21.And then I did a little more…
I thought about two trajectories many of us followed very closely this season:
#Shea moments of demonstrative affection-- kissing, hugging, holding hands, etc.
#Shea sex talk, a.k.a. references to all the sizzle we weren’t privy to see for ourselves
And after christening the combo of the two "Trasextories"... I jotted down the highlights (such as they were), episode by episode, for those things as well. In fact, I assigned numbers as a means of indicating the level of sex talk and/or affection demonstrated in each episode… you’ll see what I mean as you read more…
And then? I did one more thing. You’ll see what that is later.
Ready for all these JOTTINGS? (Never thought I’d be highlighting that word, especially in plural form, but here we are…)
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Frontline 1
Love Lesson: You can miss the one you love, even if it makes all the sense in the world not to be with them… Shaun’s original stance was otherwise. (Also, Shaun “learned” what was the proper length of time for him and Lea to date before she stayed over... )
Affection: Lea blows a kiss... 1 point
Sex talk: Shaun talks about missing sex with her (in fact he admits to this while still being adamant about not missing Lea herself); tells Park things like “We have sex… a lot” and “Physical intimacy is beautiful!” But when Lea attempts to teach Shaun about phone sex (via their respective laptops), Shaun becomes frustrated quickly, saying “I don’t want to pretend to have sex with you, Lea, I want to be with you!”
To which Lea simply replied “I miss you too, Shaun.” 8 points
Frontline 2
Affection: The hug in the final scene; Lea putting her head on Shaun’s shoulder. 2 points
Sex talk: Only the indication that Lea planned to spend the night when she and Shaun finally reunited. But Lea was barely in this episode. 1 point
Love Lesson: For Shaun: sometimes you’ve got to fine-tune that “brutal honesty” to express your feelings in a way that leaves your loved one feeling loved. For Lea: Keep up the communication, but stay patient… it’ll be worth it when you do.
Affection: Just the hug and “I love you” at the end. 2 points
Sex talk: Breasts. Quite a bit of talk about breasts. (If only Shaun had stopped there…) 3 points
Not the Same
Affection: Kisses in the final scene. 5 points
Sex talk: Nothing outright (though the whole “living together as a couple” thing has obvious implications). 1 point
Love Lesson: For Shaun… date nights for live-in couples are fun, but work still has to come first at times. For Lea… sometimes you’ve got to be the bigger person and sacrifice your enjoyment. (For BOTH… it’s great to be newly cohabitating when one of you feels partially responsible for a patient’s death.)
Affection: Laying together (fully clothed), intertwining fingers, holding each other. 4 points
Sex talk: “There is one cure for sleeplessness that my mother did not tell me about”-- Lea’s coy invitation for Shaun to give up work prep for the night because he just got a better offer. (It didn’t take long for him to accept said invitation.) 3 points
Lim
Affection: Just that distant shot of the hug they shared in the hospital common space (or whatever it was). 1 point
Sex Talk: Do Shaun’s sex toy gifts count? I’ll say yes, given they factored significantly into Shaun’s comic-relief role in this episode. 1 point
The Uncertainty Principle
Love Lesson: For Shaun… the longer you get to know the person you love, the more you learn about them… and sometimes the things you learn are completely unexpected… which led to his whole epiphany about weathering change, and ringing the cowbell if one feels they are straying too far off course. For Lea… (this is mostly speculation) don’t “forget to mention” things that help him know more about who you are; trust that he can handle it and won’t hold it against you.
Affection: Though the looks exchanged in the early (unclothed) moments of the episode are tough to ignore... holding each other's hands after Lea's news about the ex-husband was the only demonstrative act we witnessed.
2 points
Sex talk: Something involving a shower…? 😉 7 points
Love Lesson: For Shaun… meeting your loved one’s parents for the first time is an important event, but standing up for your loved one when they hurt her is even more important. For Lea… never underestimate your loved one's ability to diffuse a difficult situation.
Affection: Nothing more than a touch of the shoulder at the dinner table as far as physical affection went... but then said Shaun, when Lea refers to her parents as “the ones who are supposed to love me most”: “They don’t. Not the most. Not anymore.” (Referring to himself as the one who has assumed that role-- a sweet moment despite the fact that Shaun wasn’t discerning between a partner’s love and a parents’ love.)
2 points
Sex talk: None. Zero points
Irresponsible Salad Bar Practices
Affection: Lea taking hold of Shaun’s arm and leaving the hospital shortly after their joint encounter with Dr. D’Souza.
1 point
Sex talk: None. Zero points
Love Lesson: For Shaun…loving a woman is wonderful, but respecting her--in words, but especially in actions-- is priceless. For Lea… give him enough time-- especially in stressful situations-- and he’ll remind you in triplicate why he’s “probably the most wonderful man you’ve ever known.”
Affection: Shaun brought Lea lunch (that she didn’t eat) when she was working tirelessly… Lea gave Shaun a brief peck when they were sitting and talking in the hospital corridor.
1 point
Sex talk: None. Zero points
We’re All Crazy Sometimes
Affection: Holding hands in the middle of the living room just after Lea’s news is shared. 2 points
Sex talk: No talk (again), but this episode proves that obviously, somewhere along the line, all that earlier season “talk” turned into action… Zero points
Love Lesson: Sometimes, the sacrifice you think you have to make is no sacrifice at all.
Affection: clasping each other’s hands as they concluded an abortion was the answer… holding hands in the waiting room… Shaun puts an arm around Lea and draws her to him as they realize they’ve changed their minds. 5 points
Sex talk: None. Zero points
Spilled Milk
Affection: Kiss in the morning (brief), dancing (attempt), Shaun’s head on Lea’s stomach while she strokes his hair, clasping hands as they see the image of their child for the first time. 4 points
Sex talk: Shaun expressed a desire for sex first thing in the morning, but Lea shut him down because his minty toothpaste breath wasn't agreeing with her nauseous self. (Shaun described this later to Glassman as "living with a stranger who doesn't want you to touch or breathe on them," eventually incorporating this frustration into his feelings of disconnect from Lea.) When Lea gets an idea to "help him feel better connected," she gets on the bed… but then has to stop Shaun from beginning to undress, for sex was not the idea she had in mind. 3 points
NOTE: Remember that the re-connection comes when Shaun and Lea hear the baby's heartbeat for the first time at the end of the episode. For the remainder of S4, sex is no longer discussed outright between them… and nearly all moments of deep connection are affiliated with their baby.
Love Lesson: For Shaun... learning the gender of your unborn child is about more than a set of genitals… it’s the closest tie yet to its identity. Also-- don’t try to be absolutely everything your pregnant love needs; it will never work (and that’s okay). For Lea.. stick to your guns and communicate your reasons for doing so calmly. He is listening.
Affection: Celebratory kisses after finding out they were having a girl… and a couple more after Shaun surprises Lea with his new support/inclusion of her doula into their birthing plan. 7 points
Sex talk: About the female sex, plenty. About Shaun and Lea’s sex life, not so much. Zero points
Waiting
Love Lesson: There’s nothing like being in the midst of a crisis involving young children and their single moms to make you appreciate your own situation. (Until you find yourself falling into a crisis of your own, that is.)
Affection: Facing each other and intertwining fingers on their way out of St. B -- 3 points
Sex Talk: None. Zero points
Dr. Ted
Affection: Included holding hands… Shaun sharing his toy scalpel with Lea in the hospital… Shaun holding Lea as she sobbed. 6 points
Sex talk: None. Zero points
Love Lesson: For Shaun… A shared pain can be dealt with in different ways, but try to meet your mate halfway to where she is as soon as possible. For Lea… tell him the details of your heartache in any way that works.
Affection: Shaun taking Lea gently by the shoulders, then into his arms in the final moments-- 4 points
Sex talk: None. Zero points
Forgive or Forget
Affection: Shaun putting his arm around Lea near the campfire, spooning in the tent, kissing in the tent, kissing/head on shoulder/holding onto each other at end--
8 points
Sex Talk: No specific talk, though they were surely on their way to some actual sex until their leaky tent literally poured cold water on the whole thing. (Still, it was the first time we’d seen them horizontal in five episodes, and the only time we saw them like that post-miscarriage.) 2 points
Love Lesson: For Shaun...You may feel yourself healing several weeks down the road from a crisis, but that doesn't mean your partner is. Stay attentive. For Lea… it's okay to tell him you're not yet ok. In fact, it's absolutely necessary that you do. FOR BOTH: Remember that the two of you are a team.
Affection: holding hands after Lea shares her thoughts about returning to Hershey-- 3 points
Sex Talk: None. Zero points
Vamos
Affection: Lea’s head on Shaun’s shoulder on the bus and waiting for the plane… the MARRIAGE PROPOSAL… the kiss that followed… leaping off the bench and announcing their news while holding hands-- 9 points
OK, here’s what I did with all those numbers. Graphs can be SO helpful. Are you laughing yet?
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| A Tale of Two #Shea Trasextories |
Maybe there are no real conclusions to draw here, especially if COVID protocols had anything to do with the way things rolled, but I’ll give it a shot anyway:
The surplus of “sex talk” in the first half of the season served at least three purposes…
Establishing the fact that Shaun and Lea were now a couple
Reinforcing the notion that they were in the early, horny, “honeymoon” stage of their couple-dom (so to speak; not to be confused with the actual honeymoon stage to come after they are married)
Filled in for what might’ve been seen on screen, if not for COVID (but we know Shore and Co. are pretty spare with the love scenes as a rule, so…)
The relatively slow build of demonstrative affection, while counter-intuitive to the aforementioned surplus of “sex talk,” represented the progression of their cohesion as a #Shea unit
And the pregnancy-- which, while tragically cut short, still served as the catapult sending this relationship into the deep end of the pool-- marked the time at which demonstrative affection overtook “sex talk” for the rest of the season.
That the heads-or-tails I’ve made of my informal study thus far. How about you? Do these love lessons stack up to your own thoughts? What “lessons” did I leave out? And do you think there’s anything to be made of the trasextories, or is it classic over-thinking? The comments are yours to explore…
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AND NOW, HERE’S INTERACTIVE CHALLENGE #2!
I know you’re thinking about it, so… may the #Shea wedding conversation commence! My starter question is:
What details of Shaun and Lea’s forthcoming wedding occupy your mind the most right now?
Email your response, with “#Shea Wedding Details” in the subject head, to me at KLawrence997-at-gmail-dot-com.(Please email me rather than leaving your choices in the comments.)
