#SheaBaby: No Party, No Disco, A Little Fooling Around

 

I want a house with a crowded table

And a place by the fire for everyone

Let us take on the world while we're young and able

And bring us back together when the day is done

Yes, finally we managed to decipher something serious!-- Shea Endgame

Just when #Shea fans were wondering if they’d call anything correctly-- no thanks to ABC’s promotions department, which has deliberately exaggerated nearly every Shaun and Lea development from the “Lim” episode onward-- we finally got to be anything but shocked while the rest of TGD’s viewers felt their collective chins hit the floor at the end of “We’re All Crazy Sometimes.’ 

Yep, Lea Dilallo is pregnant!

And we … and they...have so… many… QUESTIONS. 

I’ve enlisted the help of YOU (by way of comments from readers on recent blog posts) to help me ask them, and speculate on answers. Let’s jump in--

You can hold my hand

When you need to let go

I can be your mountain

When you're feeling valley-low

I can be your streetlight

Showing you the way home

If you can hold my hand

When you need to let go

How did this happen?

… and while I do NOT mean “how” in the literal sense, I should mention that someone on Twitter offered that the #Sheababy must’ve been conceived through excessive handholding

...because that’s the only sign of physical affection we’ve been privy to this season with any regularity…

While Lord knows that’s accurate, and I’m amused at the thought of a very clueless young couple watching TGD and thinking we’d better wear gloves when we hold hands from now on, the real speculation on “how”... or “where... comes from filling in the blanks from recent episodes. Was it the (eventual) shower sex? The offscreen celebration of Lea’s birthday? The “ways to manage discomfort” that were referenced at the end of the “Irresponsible…” episode? (In which case maybe there’s a new reason to love/hate Dr D’Souza, depending on how you feel about this pregnancy…?)

But the real question I had on the list was How did this happen when Shaun and Lea surely use a mode of contraception regularly? 

It’s not a total mystery of course; there’s a thing called the Pearl Index which delineates the failure rates of different forms of contraception … if Lea was on the Pill, for instance, there’s a 9% failure rate to keep in mind. 

Will any of this get a mention on the show? Maybe a line or two early on, but knowing our show, we may have to simply presume this was the first thing Shaun and Lea talked about once the shock of Lea’s announcement started to wear off. In any case, if it’s revealed that Lea forgot to take a pill or two at some point… I hope she doesn’t beat herself up for it, and I hope Shaun doesn’t get hung up on it for long. It appears they’ll have no time to dwell on that anyway.

How are Shaun/Lea/Glassman going to take the news?

Having a child is a very big step even when it's wanted and planned. I can only immagine how scary it can be when you are forced to make such an important decision in a setting that's far from ideal.-- Daniela

I think we’ve got a pretty good idea of Lea’s take on things already-- once past the shock, and probably the denial (see her “two crazy days” from the last episode), she’s scared out of her wits. 

What about Glassman? As the de facto parental figure on the scene, we presume-- both from the snippets we’ve seen, and what we know of the man-- that he’s upset at first. (If Glassman wails “How did this happen?” and Shaun launches into a literal explanation of the when-and-where, I may hit the floor laughing.) We know he’s going to give Shaun an earful of the it-changes-everything lecture, but after that--? I can’t imagine Glassy going any other way than to lean into the blessed event… and not just for Shaun and Lea’s sake.

Andrews' words to Glassman (in the “Crazy” episode:

"If you can talk this kid into risking his life, then I'm thinking you can talk anyone out of any fear."

When I heard this, I automatically thought of Glassy reassuring Shaun and especially Lea about having a baby. He would probably say first that it's too soon, that Shaun hasn't finished his residency, etc. but he could end up somehow encouraging them.-- Syl

Andrews was also the one who (surprisingly?) brought up Glassman’s potential need for new purpose in his life during “Crazy”...  many of you saw that as a lead-in to his eventual embracing of the Grandpa Glassy role, and I can’t help but agree. While it’s not clear yet when he and Lea will next share a scene together, I’d love it if we were witness to the first time he sees her after getting the news… and she crumpled into a ball of tears, dreading his judgment (no matter what inroads they’ve made this year)... and he found himself offering a reassuring hug, in spite of himself.

We probably won’t get anything like that, but a girl can still dream.

On to Shaun’s thoughts, fears, hopes, joys… just what is going through that guy’s mind in the last episode’s closing moments? His ASD makes it harder to tell, of course, but some of you still thought there was a glimmer of pride showing in his eyes. But as with nearly everything else that’s not medicine-related, he surely comes at this with considerable naivete. We know there was a line in season 2’s “Trampoline” that found him telling Claire I think I could be a good father… and we, as viewers, certainly don’t dispute that… but there’s a whirlwind of factors he must now take into consideration: careers, time, money, medical complications, his ASD, possibly the baby’s ASD (we’ll get back to that)... to say nothing of the full, legal commitment to each other that #Shea have not yet made).

Thinking of the shots we’ve seen of Shaun sitting in the living room in his pajamas, holding his toy scalpel (the go-to for calming his anxiety), it seems he’ll start to get it on some level with the next episode. Does that happen before or after Glassman’s reality check, I wonder? (Never mind… I think I know.)

Will they decide to terminate the pregnancy?

I doubt that they will choose not to have the baby, 1) Because the show primary flag is optimism, specially with its main character. Yes, he will face many obstacles but he will conquer in the end.

2)Because the conservative audience won't forgive the main couple aborting their own child without a strong reason behind it. (which still leads me to think that the pregnancy will come with difficulties)

3)It will kill the show. Plain and simple.-- Shea Endgame

I agree with everything the wonderful women at Shea Endgame just said. And if you’ve heard the episode title for 4.14 is (unofficially as of this writing) “Gender Reveal,” you too might be at a point of concluding that this will be anything but a two or three-episode arc for Shaun and Lea. 

That doesn’t mean, though, that abortion will be crossed off Lea’s mental list of options straightaway. In the promos we’ve seen her talk about “making the right decision” alongside Claire, and write up a list with the following words on it (these are mostly fragments but it’s the best I could decipher): 

...Have a baby?

The world…

People

… of passing ASD, am I ok with that?

Having children is good way for…

… natural with more established people

Without launching into a tangent on an extremely sensitive subject (particularly in the U.S.), there are plenty of reasons Lea might initially think having an elective abortion. Without even getting into the ASD factor, there are matters of timing, of her physical health, of her mental health, of her career…

THEN comes the fact her partner is on the spectrum, which means their child could be as well. Without knowing another thing, that sentence alone could convince a neurotypical woman like Lea that she was incapable of handling the twosome as a threesome.

It's clear that Lea and Shaun will consider abortion for several reasons, but one of them possibly having a baby with ASD should be viewed as acceptable because someone thinking about their capabilities as a parent and their capacity to answer to a child's need is being responsible. I've read posts of people already blaming Lea, such as she wouldn't consider an abortion if Shaun hadn't ASD, or they vilify her for not wanting the baby because of the potential passing of ASD...It's so hypocritical. Some people don't realize how nerve-wracking it can be for some people to just imagine being responsible of a baby, even if they are in a good situation in their life.--Syl

Given my own experiences being on the spectrum, I was always in doubt if I would want to put children of my own through the same – or even worse, may have the offspring ASD or not. I know a mother with ASD whose 12-year old son was diagnosed with a personality disorder. The mother blames it on her condition for not being able to provide the emotional support her son needed. I know other examples of ASD causing problems in parenting from biographies.-- Andreas

I’m similar to few others who commented: a mom who had two relatively uneventful, full-term pregnancies that resulted in healthy kids with no known physical/mental issues. Therefore, while I don’t feel like I could’ve chosen an abortion… I also don’t feel I can judge other situations. I’ve closest I’ve witnessed in such a place was a lifelong friend of mine-- a doctor, though not one with ASD-- whose wife was several months along in her pregnancy when they learned the child would be born with severe birth defects. I don’t know what they were, but my doctor friend was painfully aware. He and his wife made the heartbreaking choice to abort… and a few years later, adopted a pair of fraternal twins from Ukraine. 

Life definitely takes us places at times that we never thought we’d go. But what about Shaun and Lea-- what will they choose? And if that’s a bygone conclusion, how will they choose it? We all saw a shot in the promo of the two of them in some kind of waiting room, holding hands (again), Lea’s face tight and anxious. Many of us have tried to zoom in on those pamphlets alongside them, scanning for clues much as we did on Lea’s pro/con list. Abortion clinic? We wonder. Or regular OB-GYN office? 

Whether or not you’re still wringing your hands about that possibility, let me throw one more log on that fire and ask: What if it’s a regular OB-GYN office, but the show itself doesn’t indicate that clearly until the last minute?

I’m trying to prepare for that possibility, although it feels like an unnecessary extra twist of manipulation at this point. 

If we want a garden

We're gonna have to sow the seed

Plant a little happiness

Let the roots run deep

If it's love that we give

Then it's love that we reap

If we want a garden

We're gonna have to sow the seed

Yeah I want a house with a crowded table...

What is the role that ASD plays in all of this? 

if passing the ASD to the child is on Lea’s list, it is likely that the possibility will be discussed, which might mean that the episode could re-visit Lea’s initial hesitation in 3.16/3.17. Is she willing the risk that the child might more heavily affected by ASD than Shaun? Of all children diagnosed with ASD, 10-15% remain nonverbal for their whole life, ca. 40% have an intellectual disability (ID).

Individuals with ASD and ID may never be able to live independently from their parents or will have to be referred to group home.

These are real concerns and while I don’t expect the show to discuss it in depth, some of it should be mentioned.- Andreas 

Call it the baby elephant in the room wherever this pregnancy gets discussed in the “Teeny Blue Eyes” episode... something that would likely have been discussed in depth already, if Shaun and Lea were married (or at least another year or so into the relationship). But here they are, tossed into the deep end with little to hang onto but each other as they figure out what they want, and what they want to be capable of.

The biggest catch with the question at hand-- What are the chances their child could have ASD?-- is that it’s difficult to answer. The number of people with ASD who marry at all, let alone have any children, is generally unknown… with many not even knowing they’re “on the spectrum” until getting diagnosed in their 20s or 30s (perhaps after having a child with ASD). So to try and narrow the selection pool even further, to determine the odds with an ASD/NT couple, seems an exercise in futility. 

Still, with genetics being a known factor in ASD, there’s a larger chance than the 1-in-54 possibility amongst the general population (according to the CDC). And boys are 2-3 times more likely to have it than girls, though Andreas tells me girls have a higher risk of ASD going undiagnosed. (This is why I predict that if it goes to term, Shaun and Lea will have a boy. And if it’s named anything other than "Steve" I think we’ll all be shocked.)

Anyway, I presume some of this info will turn up in “Teeny Blue Eyes” through Lea’s conversation with Claire, or Shaun’s conversation with Glassy, or while Shaun and Lea are sitting together with their notes. Will they bring up the tough facts about autism as Andreas did above-- the nonverbal possibilities, the percentage of intellectual disabilities, the lifelong dependence on family that many face? It might be enough to remind the audience, and Lea, that it’s called a “spectrum” for a reason and Shaun-- with his savant syndrome-- represents a scant 10 percent of those with autism.

A very interesting anomaly of a story within the whole ASD/NT + kids issue comes via comedian Amy Schumer. She is married to a professional chef named Chris Fischer, who has ASD. (For what it's worth, I watched them interact together last year when they brought Amy Schumer Learns to Cook to the Food Network; Chris is decidedly more subdued than Schumer, but is a great fit for her and I would not have recognized him to have ASD if I hadn’t read about it in advance.) They have already had a child together-- a boy, named Gene-- and when asked about “how she copes” with the possibility of him having ASD, she gave a very thoughtful, loving, interesting reply. (Check it out here.)

I'm very hopeful that Teeny Blue Eyes will be a great episode. I adore Mark Rozeman's writing, he can be really poetic and, having ASD himself, he surely knows what he's talking about.-- Daniela

However TGD chooses to present it, the ASD question is A LOT to process. And if you’re Lea, filled with self-doubt in general, gobsmacked with the thought of having ANY baby-- let alone one with these kinds of challenges-- overwhelmed doesn’t even seem to scratch the surface of what she must feel initially. 

I doubt that will be enough to make Lea-loathers understand how she could even consider abortion, but it’s raw and real and valid to me.

(I still don’t think it’ll be discussed beyond the coming episode, though… not unless they come to a point in the pregnancy when something drastic has to be done. More on that in a bit. BUT FIRST…)

Assuming they decide to go through with it… why is Shaun feeling disconnected already in the next episode?

From what I can see, the description of a future episode of The Good Doctor entitled "Spilled Milk" has created quite a buzz amongst lovers of the show. I, for one, would be surprised if Shaun did not feel disconnected from Lea at this point, though I do not automatically assume that it is because of a traumatic event surrounding Lea's pregnancy. David Shore promises us an honest exploration of all aspects of Shaun's story, and at least as far as I am concerned, he has not disappointed yet.

We have seen in past episodes Shaun's despondent reactions to feelings of disconnection. A good example would be Shaun's visit to Dr. Glassman's office in the "Fractured" episode, after he told Carly of his interaction with Lea in Wyoming. Carly's request for some time alone to process what he had told her sent Shaun into a tailspin, and his fears came tumbling out.

...surely he would view Lea's need to process her feelings, probably in some time alone, as much more threatening, considering his deeply felt love for her.-- Barbara

Something I wonder if even Lea is thinking of yet is the question of how Shaun’s ASD will affect him as a parent. Not that any of us doubt that he’ll do everything in his power to be the best dad he can be… BUT…

• How will his extreme sensitivities to sound (read: LOUD, CRYING BABY) impact his ability to help out in the early days?

• How will his difficulties with communication affect his ability to bond with his child? 

• How will he find a way to impart his knowledge (about child development, medical issues, etc.) in a way that doesn’t make an already hypersensitive Lea feel even worse about her abilities as a mother?

Those are just a few “what if”s off the top of my head. And I’m not even counting the fact that Shaun’s demanding work hours will compound matters considerably. (Cue Glassy and Debbie to create a strong support system STAT!)

Before Lea can think of all this… before any of us should… there’s a gestation period to get through. And it appears the “getting through” part will get more difficult right on time, with episode 4.13 “Spilled Milk.” 

Why “right on time”? Because even the easiest pregnancies are anything but smooth sailing. Here’s what springs to my own memory:

• Constant nausea for 4-6 weeks, depending on the child

• Fatigue

• Body changes (some more obvious/expected than others)

• Mood swings

• Dizzy spells

• Back pain

• Swollen feet

• A WIDE variety of cravings (once the nausea went away)

• Heartburn and other digestive issues

Sounds like a party, right? 

So if you assume Lea to be experiencing even two or three of these things by the time of the “Spilled Milk” episode-- and we know nausea is already on the list, and suspect a certain amount of moodiness-- Shaun’s likely to feel a disconnect simply because these are things he can neither go through with her, nor do much to alleviate. Though I imagine he’ll try-- I picture him coming through the door with nausea lollipops and heating pads as soon as she even mentions pain or discomfort-- bridging that gap won’t be easy. 

But remember-- it’s a gap, not a chasm. 

The door is always open

Your picture's on my wall

Everyone's a little broken

But everyone belongs

Yeah everyone belongs

Where will things go from here? 

Whatever comes--and there's actually a lot they could do with a pregnancy, and not because they can't think of anything else. From a storytelling standpoint, from a dramatic standpoint, there are several beats they can play.-- Amy D.

The question now is how the story will develop past the scares and the possibility of termination in “Teeny Blue Eyes”. There are a lot of factors to consider: Glassman’s level of support, Lea’s skeptical parents. Even Shaun’s mother might re-enter the picture as some fellow shipper reminded me on Reddit.-- Andreas

We’ve been waiting to see where things shake out with the original residents as they head into the final year; to that end: pay attention to the case of the week (the only one, it appears) in "Teeny Blue Eyes": 

When a renowned surgeon comes to St. Bonaventure for treatment, the team’s enthusiasm is quickly overshadowed by the doctor’s behavior. After studying his case, Dr. Shaun Murphy sees a pattern he recognizes. 

To me, it sounds like the “renowned surgeon” has some form of ASD himself… either undiagnosed, or simply “hidden” throughout the surgeon’s career under the guise of being odd, rude, eccentric, etc. If I’m right about that, maybe Shaun’s encounters with him will cause Shaun to think harder about his own future as a surgeon alongside the news of impending fatherhood. 

And maybe that will lead to impacting Shaun’s place in that all-important 5th year of residency looming on the horizon.

(But don’t quote me; I’m as unsure where they’re going with that as you are.)

To have a child is an adventure and a challenge (more over if it is unexpected) for a neurological couple so I can't begin to understand what would be in this case… You might see the baby as an enemy coming to debunk your life and at the same time you feel like you can't do it. Because you barely can co exist with yourself sometimes. Yes, I know exactly how all of these feels and I'm waiting for the show to express it honestly. -- Shea Endgame

As for Lea, the recently-proven Superwoman of St. B’s IT department… Will that feat be the pinnacle of her career now that she’s coding for two? I certainly hope not, if only because TV NEEDS women thriving in male-dominated fields such as tech. It will require Lea to change and adapt of course, and if #Sheababy does indeed have ASD, I suppose there will be re-evaluations across the board (perhaps with both their careers). 

All the adaptation conversation, though, is contingent on Lea carrying the baby to term… and let’s face it, there’s a lot that can happen (and probably WILL happen-- it’s a medical drama, after all) along the way...

As we've said in various past posts, the writers have been visibly building up this pregnancy for some time, notably with all the pregnant patients they have had in 10 episodes, and with all the scenes/moments/talks dedicated to parenthood and family, it would be surprising that there is not a baby in the end. But we never know with Shore, I doubt he would pull the miscarriage card, but he could have the baby have a medical issue; I would be ok with that only if it doesn't force Lea to terminate the pregnancy. It would be especially awful to imagine that Lea and Shaun would lose the baby after having embraced the idea of having a baby and started to love it.-- Syl

Much depends on how they accelerate the pregnancy (if at all). In real-time, Lea would be due in the fall. But as we know from previous discussions of TGD’s space/time continuum, that due date of Lea’s doesn’t mean all that much.  

On my list of “maybes”... 

• Miscarriage, which would be something to happen relatively early… maybe by episode 16 or 17 of S4? (With Shaun and Lea recovering from it, and re-connecting, in the remainder of the season)

• A high-risk pregnancy for Lea, and/or...

• A situation putting Lea’s life in jeopardy, requiring an abortion after all

• A medical issue involving the baby while still in utero

• A stillborn delivery (meaning the child is born without any signs of life) could happen anytime from 20 weeks onward… and could bring more intense emotions/grief than a miscarriage because they’d have had more time to love the baby, as Syl mentioned above, as well as more time to acclimate to the idea of being parents

• On the other hand, a premature delivery could conceivably happen at the end of S4 and would bode well for the baby IF Lea was at least 28 weeks along. (28 weeks, as I understand it, is the point at which the survival rate/complications rate tips in baby’s favor). As complications go, this one’s probably my favorite… and not just because the baby gets to LIVE! Imagine Shaun needing to reach into an incubator and simply touch his preemie child as a way to help bond with it… that would be an incredibly powerful moment, given his own lifelong aversion to touch.

Can Shaun and Lea weather whatever's to come?

I think the bigger question is... can WE?

I want a house with a crowded table

And a place by the fire for everyone

Let us take on the world while we're young and able

And bring us back together when the day is done

And bring us back together when the day is done

(Friendly reminder that the comments section is now open for your hopes, fears, best guesses, and of course... pregnancy stories.)