Allow me to dive into a near worst-case scenario. Just to get it out of the way:
The Ex To Be Named Later (assuming TGD gives him a name) comes to San Jose somewhere down the road of time, maybe after Shaun and Lea take their relationship to the next level again (I’m afraid to use the M-word outright yet). The Ex’s timing is highly relevant, as the challenges of #Shea’s ASD/NT relationship are making themselves known more than usual and Lea is feeling vulnerable. She confides in the Ex, old flames look to be re-kindled, and it becomes a situation where... in spite of herself... her commitment to Shaun is put to the test.
(In MY worst-case scenario, she passes the test. No cheating on Shaun. Just… no. But still…)
What comes after that? Does she tell Shaun about the temptation? When he trusts that she did the right thing, as I believe he will, do other voices (Shut up, Morgan. You too, Park) overwhelm him with doubt? Does he reach a place of anger that reminds Lea of that awful night with the baseball bat in the parking garage? Does he take it out on the Ex in a way that gets him arrested?
And… how much will any of these possible outcomes affect Shaun and Lea long-term as a couple?
My probably over-simplified take, should any of this actually turn up in the #Shea crystal ball, is the following:
-- I believe TGD is committed to Shaun and Lea for the long haul. It’s season 4... I’d be surprised if the series goes more than 7 seasons in all (if we’re blessed enough to have it last THAT long)... and they only just became a couple. What value would there be in suddenly bringing it to an end, requiring Shaun to do a sort of “rebuilding” that would take exponentially longer than a NT person? I expect rough patches, perhaps brutal ones. But so long as there is breath in each character’s body, so to speak, I have a hard time believing Shaun and Lea will fully separate.
-- Having said that… I wonder if it might be a disservice to neurotypical/autistic relationships to avoid eventually putting Lea in a situation where the temptation to check out is (temporarily) strong. It wouldn’t have to involve her ex; wouldn’t have to involve another man at all, since the Road Not Taken looks appealing in a certain light regardless. Because we all know there are aspects of this story rarely seen on TV. It would be a shame not to explore them.
(For a refresher course on the difficulties I’m referencing, check out my post NOW THAT WE’VE FOUND LOVE PT. 3 from last September. Lots of interesting stuff there about ASD/NT relationships in general.)
And having said that, I’ll say just one more thing about coming attractions featuring #Shea and the Ex… IF anything remotely like this happens, it won’t happen for a while. Maybe a long while. So let’s enjoy the here and now as it unfolds, okay? I’m not suggesting these things to make y’all crazy, but rather to address some fears and try to show a way around them.
__
Speaking of the here and now, let me provide a quick impression of me (and maybe you) during the “Lim” episode…
Act 1: Wow, those frogs Shaun waved around were singing! Cute! But really, Morgan just walked away without a single word or suggestion, kind or otherwise? Weird.
Act 3: Shaun’s now trying out St. B gift shop ideas? Hmm. I think he’s moving in the wrong direction. He said Lea’s birthday was “tomorrow”-- does that mean it falls during this episode after all? Bummer.
Act 4: “Why are there adult toys on my desk?” Oof, Shaun and his horrifically timed questions about “The Llama”. Some say that was dumb, he knows better than to solicit these kinds of opinions; I respond Wasn’t Lim the one who told Shaun all about parades and “going 3% longer” during a certain memorable breakroom chat last spring? Precedent, people! By the way, do we get to see Lea this episode? We’re more than halfway through now…
Act 6: So I guess we’re into “tomorrow” now, which means… Oh, look! Lea’s birthday is being celebrated in the distance while Lim has a mini-breakdown. Quick, gotta balance a little bit of “Aww!” with a lot of “Oh, Lim, how far down this hole are you going to fall?”
Also… so, the shower scene is probably not in this episode after all. Got it.
PROMO: Ah, THERE’s the shower! But, yeah, like I thought, the dual shower idea isn’t gonna go over with Shaun as well as it does the rest of us… at least not at HOLY CRAP DID LEA JUST SAY THE SKI THING CAME FROM HER EX-HUSBAND???????????
(And then I think I fell over from shock and hit my head on the floor. Ouch. Don’t remember much after that.)
SO. MANY. QUESTIONS…
Lea was married?? How can this be???
(Hey, we’ve been begging for some back story on her. This qualifies!)
I guess the better question is… how could she have kept something like this from Shaun for 3 ½ years? Through all the different incarnations of their relationship?
(People keep parts of themselves hidden for all kinds of reasons. Maybe the closer she and Shaun have become, the harder it’s become for her to tell him no matter how much she wanted to. Stakes get high. It happens.)
Really?? Doesn’t this feel a little contrived to you?
(Did they have “divorced” in Lea’s character description from the start? I doubt it. But maybe this is one of the luxuries of adding backstory to a character whose screen time has been limited-- and storytime line even more so).
But why did they have to give Lea such a HUGE thing to keep secret from Shaun? Don’t they know all the Lea-haters of the universe are doubling down on their “she doesn’t really love him/she’s gonna use him for a while and leave/F--- her” angst?
(The Lea-haters are gonna hate, save for a few blessed exceptions. When she’s “the perfect girlfriend,” e.g. “Fault,” they’re suspicious at best. When she complains, e.g. “Newbies,” she’s a whiner who said the wrong thing after Shaun reiterated his love for her in their final scene. And now, as we’re finally hitting on what could prove to be THE reason she was so fearful of real love with Shaun that it took a near-death experience to turn the tide… they see it as the ultimate ammo to prove their case. Block ‘em, ignore ‘em, clap back at ‘em if you really think it’s worth it (I don’t), but do what you need to do to keep the faith. We’re the ones with the longer, more bountiful ride ahead of us.)
What if-- in spite of all we love and cherish with #Shea-- Shore and company aren’t feeling it the way we do, and ARE prepping for these two to break up later this year or next year? With this ex-husband thing being the start of their way out of this storyline?
(Then we’ll make AT LEAST as much noise as a certain other fandom of TGD has made over the past 9 months…? That’s where I’d start, I guess. But of all the things to think about right now-- which includes, again as before, TRUST THE WRITERS-- this particular question isn’t on my short list.)
I’d like to know why Lea’s ex-husband is sending her expensive gifts that she apparently doesn’t want? I saw a longer clip that started making the rounds over the weekend, which verifies she has no interest in keeping the ski thing.
(Now THERE’S a question we can all get behind!)
THEORIES… Oh, do we have THEORIES…
Here are some of the ideas I’ve heard thus far, and/or thought about myself…
She married a high school sweetheart and it fell apart quickly because that’s what happens sometimes with young, immature love
She married a guy who mentally and/or physically abused her
She married someone so he could get his Green Card and stay in the U.S.
She married someone too early into the relationship because she was desperate to leave home
She married someone who turned out to be gay
She married someone with substance abuse issues, or some other sort of addiction
She married someone who committed a crime and went to prison
She married someone who was just plain MEAN, which could manifest itself in a variety of ways
Any combination of the above
If I didn’t touch on your own personal theory, feel free to share it in the comments! The point is, there are a lot of potential explanations. Maybe the writers want a backstory that will be easier for Shaun to wrap his head around once he processes the whole “love of my life used to be married” thing. Or, maybe they purposely want it to be more complex.
The more I think about it, the more eager I am to see how this new wrinkle irons out. We get them at least four times this coming Monday: the shower scene, the “my ex sent it” scene, the scene in Lea’s office (which appears to be where the ex-husband discussion continues), and the scene where Lea’s in the red checkered jacket. The order of those things remains to be seen… Plus, we don’t know what other character and/or storyline is going to impact the way Shaun’s processing things yet… but he’s sure to bring it up somewhere else.
So now let’s think about the good that could come from Lea’s revelation…
The simple fact that she didn’t try to hide the news any longer-- she could have made up a story about who sent her the ski thing; when Shaun asked, she made a momentous decision in that exhale she gives before standing up to face him-- is progress in and of itself.
We wanted to know what demons were holding Lea down; this twist could unlock some answers. (As could meeting Lea’s parents next week; can you believe we don’t even have time to dig into that yet with all the ex-husband stuff?!)
Shaun will, I hope, suggest to Lea that building trust and commitment in their relationship only happens when both sides are doing the building. (In other words… how can the trust issues she talks about get any better when she apparently felt she couldn’t trust Shaun with this news any earlier than now?) Consequently, I’d like to see Lea come clean with what happened in a way that’s bare, and beautiful, and something that of course allows Shaun to be the man she’ll need him to be in that moment.
Shaun will find himself moving past black and white assessments of success and failure in marriage-- remember how he has matter-of-factly stated others on the show to be “not good” at marriage because they didn’t stay married (Glassman, Park, Lim I think)? I’d like to think that going through this with Lea will help him see the complexities he hasn’t seen before.
Just as we considered the timing of Lea’s move-in imperative to Shaun’s emotional needs the following week (Shaun/Asher’s patient dying), I have to wonder if this revelation was necessary because it’s some sort of factor with the Dilallos’ arrival in the upcoming “Parenting” episode. If so, look for the remainder of the January TGD episodes to be some of the most important yet in the #Shea journey.
And this one is a longshot, but… discussing Lea’s relationship with her ex will be the first time we know of that either of them will be discussing marriage in so close a context. Could it possibly lead to any foreshadowing of marriage for THEM? (Example: Shaun asking Lea if she thinks she’ll want to get married again someday; or Lea saying something about their own relationship that indicates longevity)
So keep calm, listen hard, and don’t panic if we don’t get all the answers exactly when we feel we should! #Shea magic reveals on its own timetable. Let’s savor every moment.
8 comments:
Glad to be back on here and commenting again. I missed the last couple of posts, but know that I have been reading your good words from afar!
As much as I don't want to think about it, I'm actually glad you included the worst-case here. I've said before that the Shea portion of the fanbase is the big-picture thinkers, not the "prisoner of the moment" types. And so it is only fair to avoid the Pollyannish approach of saying nothing negative will happen.
I also think part of the purpose of the promo was to SATISFY the haters. And give them something to talk about other than "she did all these good things in the first 5 episodes, I don't like her for no good reason." And frankly, I'm happy to see the producers taking an approach of "hate away, we're still moving forward!"
As for what to expect with this next new episode, I have to think that the mere fact that this big revelation is in the promo means something even more significant is in the episode itself. That doesn't mean something bad. Just significant. And while we may still have pieces of the puzzle left to fill in after this episode, I really believe we'll be able to plug in some significant pieces.
But to a greater point, my expectation for the episode's overall point will be that the past isn't the end-all, be-all. Even though Lea had yet to reveal this big piece of information - and have no doubt, she owes an explanation for the omission - this doesn't mean that she's not still the person responsible for so much "more." Like valuing Shaun's life above her own by running into that unstable building during the earthquake. Or waited months during the pandemic to be close to Shaun again. Or sacrificed her own date night to give Shaun a chance to save his patient.
In other words, I think Shaun will come to see that who Lea WAS is not as important as who she IS.
To quote the immortal words of the wise: The Backstreet Boys:
I don't care who you are,
Where you're from,
What you did,
As long as you love me.
I’m a little astonished about the shockwaves the news about Lea’s past marriage has caused – the character is in his early thirties and had – of course – a life before Shaun. As if Lea was expected to go into a relationship with Shaun the Saint being a virgin … well, not literally, but in terms of moral conduct.
Yet, when Lea originally entered the picture, the character was flirty, adventurous, and impulsive – all the ingredients needed for an (over-) heated romance that quickly runs out of fuel. Thus, a marriage is true to the Lea before Shaun. It took seasons 2 and 3 for Lea to mature to the point that she was willing and able to enter a relationship with her best friend.
Of course, one important question to answer is why Lea never mentioned it before and I have no doubt that this will be another stepstone of rocky road Shaun and Lea are on.
I must say I’m rather excited than shocked, because this might be another of Kelli’s catapult moments. It will shake up Shaun, but it also poses the question of the long-term perspectives both characters have in mind. It is sure no coincidence that Lea introduces Shaun to her parents in the subsequent episode.
To me it seems like the writers are pushing the couple forward with some external force. Because what else could the season hold in stock for a newly formed couple? First times? Already done that in the previous season. Quiet evenings at home? Already done that with the yoga/banking password & ted talks. And at the hospital, Shaun’s new challenge of teaching is moving forward with baby steps rather than with seven-league boots.
So, my hope for the next episode is that the Shea story arc will be advanced in a thrilling way.
After literal decades of shipping TV couples, I've finally reached the point, with Shaun and Lea, where I don't have a bunch of expectations about every episode, and I don't freak out over every little thing. (Had you known me when I was 21 and sweating bullets over fictional romances every week, you would have known a very different person than who I am now.) I have a wish list, sure, but I don't get hung up on what does or doesn't happen week to week.
So when Lea's ex-husband was revealed in last week's preview, my first thought was, "Well, that explains so much." Which was followed immediately by, "But now I have so many new questions."
Should she have told Shaun before now? You could make an argument for either "yes, she should have" or "no, she shouldn't have." I lean more towards the "no, she shouldn't have," if only because I understand where she's coming from. (My emotional involvement is deep. It's like when Morgan was looking for somebody to do the surgery on the ectopic pregnancy patient in 3x20, looking into ORs, and she didn't bother even approaching Andrews to ask him after he had already chewed her out, and she just did it herself. That was SO something I would have done.) Lea had enough insecurities and fears about being Shaun's girlfriend going into this phase of their relationship, and probably felt that telling him she'd been divorced would have given him a reason for him to change his mind, or take back his love for her and telling her he wanted to be her boyfriend. Tonight, several months into their romantic relationship, that particular pressure is off. It will still be an issue--indeed, we know that Shaun asks Lea why she didn't tell him this before now--but she's honest about it immediately when Shaun asks who the birthday gift is from, and this gives Shaun the chance to revise his previous opinion about married people who get divorced being failures. After all, he used to think that about Glassman, but he's seen that Glassman and Debbie's marriage is working now.
I agree with Tony: hopefully Shaun will see that who Lea WAS is not as important as who she IS now, and who she IS now is a terrific, loving person who has been there for him during some very rocky times, going back to his father's death.
I appreciate so much when I enter into this blog and read so accurate opinions on what we see on the show. Yes, I have to be honest I freaked out last Monday when I first saw the promo. Not because of the fact that she was married but more over because everything that was rushing into my mind had to do with OMG the "I hate Lea club" is going to be having a party with this. And indeed, that's what happened. But you are right, it doesn't matter what she might do and as Tony said a while ago, she could get run over by a bus to save Shaun and people will hate her anyway. Such a lost cause.
However, my fear relies also in another subject and that's the writing. I know that you say we must trust the writers and I still believe that everything that happens is part of a big puzzle, of which we are just witnessing piece by piece. But, if the moments of Shea to overcome this are limited once again to a minute screen time scene, Seriously it won't be enough. I need a profound, honest conversation between the two of them. I have been needing that since the events in season 3, which in my opinion. Should have been addressed in this season at some point.
I need that the writers give Shea what they deserve, you can't create complex characters without substance.
As for what it can go wrong or right, I totally agree, we should put ourselves in all possible situations. Although, I will trust Freddie's words regarding shea where he called them "long term" "committed and serious" "They will navigate the world together as a unit". And thinking about the latest, makes sense because it will be Shaun's turn to be emphatic with Lea or at least try to be, because she is going to tell him something that obviously causes her distress. He needs to be her other half, just like she has been many times.
I can't wait to see what is in store for the next two episodes. Also, we found out that The show will have a new hiatus between episode 8 and 9. There is scheduled a re run of Frontline 1 and 2 for the first two weeks of February. It was expected because they are just starting with episode 10 and they take like 12 days to film each episode.
Well, we have to wait and see what's store but personally I'm confident as Andreas said that this will be a good thing for them to keep evolving as a couple.
P. S. Tony, I loved your BSB reference heheheh
I share your feeling SheaEndgame about reading Shea fans' opinions on this blog, Kelli's and others' posts help me put things in perspective, better understand the characters, notice things I could have missed in a scene, etc.
About the ex matter, I don't think it's something that casts Lea under a bad light. After the "Because you're autistic" scene which made some people very vocal in their hatred (although some didn't need this scene to already hate her...), I think the writers and producers want to prove that Lea IS good for Shaun, and that she naturally has some flaws but that she's a good person. In the first 5 episodes of this season, I find it indeed quite telling that there were so many instances of Lea being very caring, loving, patient, understanding, supportive, attentive to his needs, etc.
As several of you have mentioned, Lea's past will probably help Shaun to revise his judgement about marriage and divorce, and love. And one of ABC's latest promo pictures of the episode has Shaun saying "We can't stop ourselves from changing, which means we might stop loving them or they might stop loving you".
I won't be able to see the episode before tomorrow afternoon, it will be difficult to not go online and be spoiled in the meantime!
Great post Kelli! Love reading your thoughts and everyone's comments. I just finished watching the episode! And one of the theories mentioned about Lea being married are correct. I will say that I just ignore all the Lea Hate. I have had immature comments posted on my fanvids in the past. I just delete and block. I really don't get the small minded views of her character. I have had to just "shake it off" and just stay in my happy "Shea" place.
I planned to get on the comments earlier to welcome Tony back (been wondering where you were!!!), and next thing I know we're up to a half-dozen comments already!
As I write this, there's about 40 minutes until TGD airs in my time zone... since Sheree has shared that one of the theories listed in my post turns out to be correct, does anyone want to declare a favorite before air time?
My top three (deciding on the spot here, and keeping in mind more than one answer could be correct):
1) Desperate to leave home
2) High School sweetheart
3) Went to prison
Anyone else...?
Well well well, once again you guys are a bunch of geniuses! What you guessed are basically correct, it means this group of people are the true audience of this show. lol. Love you guys!
This episode is something else, isn't it?! My top favorites, definitely. Especially regarding the theme of change and improvement or regression. I feel like our Shea is ready for anything.
I gotta love the "our relationship won't end in natural disaster", and "it did begin in one." Shaun left Lea shocked and speechless not once but three times in one episode. I love it.
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