-- The timeline checks out, give or take how soon out of high school she got married and how old Lea just turned at that birthday earlier in the month (Paige Spara is 31; they might be placing Lea a year or two younger). Lea indicated she left the ski machine with her ex 10 years ago-- is there a subtext here that she left him/moved out of their home? (indicating maybe it didn’t start as a mutual decision to split up?) Or did they leave on such good terms that he kept the machine as a favor to her when she moved to San Jose?
-- Her explanation as to why not telling Shaun? It was believable, because she probably doesn’t think of it often. Over a decade removed, living on the other side of the country in a demanding job, with new love in her life… why look back?
-- However, l think most of us agree she still should have told Shaun before now (and I DO wish she’d have apologized outright for the omission; she did with her eyes, but not her words). And I can see her leaning on the “wasn’t important” for future news that might surprise and upset Shaun. I hope I’m wrong… that’s the kind of thing that’s going to require continued growth on her part...
-- … Because they need transparency for longevity, and just because it comes more naturally to Shaun doesn’t let Lea off the hook. This reminds me of something else that didn’t happen in this episode: Shaun asking Lea how they could build the trust she wants when she “doesn’t mention” things as potentially important as a prior marriage.
But then again, “The Uncertainty Principle” unfolded in ways that perhaps a lot of us didn’t really expect…
-- So far, the ex-husband story isn’t as dark as we thought it might be. No prison sentences, no anger issues, no abuse mentioned of any kind. One of the things I suggested in my last post was that TGD writers might keep the marriage explanation simple so that Shaun can wrap his mind around it fairly easily… and that they have. For Shaun was more distraught by the surprise of Lea’s revelation than the revelation itself; more upset that Lea didn’t even think about the ex than remotely concerned that the ex has her current address and is sending her things (even if it’s her own “thing” that was sent).
-- But rather than dwell on what she hadn’t told him, or ponder the idea of her being “bad at marriage,” he pivoted directly into big picture thinking (with a little help from the I’m-gonna-live-forever guy). For now that Shaun’s found love, it seems he’s thinking about the challenges of long-lasting love for the first time-- which is a terrific echo to his first “love challenge” of Season 4 (the challenges of temporary long-distance love a la “Frontline Pt. 1 and 2”).
About those “shower scene” bookends...
In the promo for “The Uncertainty Principle,” it was tough to make a correlation between the shower sex dispute and the jaw-dropping news about
the ex-husband. So while COVID precautions presumably kept us (at least in part) from actually witnessing a moment of the “no soap involved” steamy shower love, the dispute itself was a fun metaphor throughout the episode illustrating the benefits of “adjusting course,” as Shaun might say:
Step 1: Outright refusal on his part (including a “brutally honest” note that intelligent Lea should have known better than to suggest such a thing)
Step 2: (Gather opinions on the matter directly from colleagues) Poll nearly 100 hospital staff in search of a majority approving/disapproving shower sex. (And might I say, SO hilarious that Shaun thought such an approach would come across as “abstract”... over on Twitter, ahead of the episode airing, I’d wondered if Shaun would bring the whole matter into hospital conversation and several pointed out how his ability to filter himself has improved somewhat (see 4.5 “Fault” for a reminder). I loved how Shaun’s early-morning poll represented heavy on the “somewhat” side!
Step 3: Report preliminary findings to your (very amused) partner, who has already “fielded questions” on the matter (again, as with the “Newbies” discussion about breast size, Lea’s proving to be quite amenable to Shaun’s oversharing tendencies). Shaun’s cautionary “don’t get too excited, Lea” was especially endearing to me for some reason.
Step 4, after a pause to let the dust settle on the ex-husband bombshell: Figure out the necessary steps to a compromise (no soap involved, shampoo bottles moved out of the way, stay away from temperature controls), alert partner you’ve officially changed your mind… and that you’d like to test said compromise immediately.
Honestly, I was hoping for more with Lea’s teen marriage tale. Many of us are chomping at the bit for new pieces to the puzzle that is Ms. Dilallo-- was this a missed opportunity for the writers? I think it’s too early to say. “The Uncertainty Principle” was not an episode designed to spotlight any single supporting character, regardless of how ABC tried to promote it. Within the framework of the episode-- Shaun’s case-of-the-week + his personal life = staring eternity and uncertainty in the face and coming up with a minor coping method (the cowbell)-- it wouldn’t have worked for Lea to even hint at a deep, dark story behind her divorce.
However, the upcoming “Parenting” episode has (dare I say it?) the potential to be pivotal in a wealth of ways-- Lea’s revelation being only one small part of that. The fact that the Ex was described as “literally the boy next door” and “it was expected (that we marry)” makes it very likely that her parents were a huge part of that “expectation”... is the reason they apparently dislike every guy she goes out with is because they compare him, inadvertently or otherwise, with Boy Next Door? And if so, maybe we’re likely to hear about “him” again (and again and again) on Monday? Or learn some additional details of that failed relationship that put Lea in a negative light?
Makes you wonder all the more what their take will be on Lea’s most recent Boy Next Door-turned-lover/best friend, doesn’t it?
 |
| Look closely on the left and you can see the lettering on the outside glass: "Lea Dilallo, IT Director" |
How Lea stood out
Maybe it’s because she was wearing the same striped sweater she wore on their “Islands” road trip in S1… but the way Lea handled Shaun’s unspooling in her office gave me a tiny throwback to when Shaun put The Striped Tomato in a ditch. He was much more upset back then, and it took a number of “Shaun, look at me” requests on Lea’s part to get him calmed down.
You can see Shaun's profile...
...shift to look at her here
This time, she let him go on for about 30 seconds (unpredictable change, hurricanes before 1873, houses flattened, etc.) before a gentle “Shaun…” got him to pause and look directly at her (no prompting) before she came with the reassurance about their own relationship. Of course, the final minute of 3.10 “Friends and Family” is arguably the most challenging “calm down” Lea’s faced to date, and depending on what lies ahead, who knows how many more times we’ll witness this display of love from her. But big moments or smaller ones, this is the kind of thing that keeps endearing us to Lea, leaving us to wonder how anyone could harbor contempt for this character as they have (and continue to do).
And yes, Shaun’s circle-back to #Shea beginning in a natural disaster was duly noted… and hilarious.
How Shaun stood out
As I mentioned last week, I already expected/hoped that this challenge would carry him past his previous assessments of people being “good” and “bad” at marriage. But with the ex-husband news itself not even getting a mention by their final scene together, it was refreshing to see Shaun put that information in its own box-- one with the message I’m still learning things about Lea and that’s okay-- and leap right into What can I do to help ensure that what happened with Lea’s marriage doesn’t happen to us?
That’s what’s at the heart of the matter, right? If their conversation in Lea’s office didn’t cement that idea, the one with the cowbell certainly did. And while I joked on Twitter that #Shea does NOT need “more cowbell” (referencing a certain SNL sketch from many years ago), I actually hope this kind of fun solution on Shaun’s part doesn’t go the way of Albert the Fish. “Only for emergencies,” Lea concluded after seeing Shaun’s strong reaction to its sound. But sounding it would certainly put things into perspective in a hurry, would it not?
Because… there’s going to be an “emergency.” Maybe this season (Could be as many as 13 episodes still to go!), maybe next, maybe both… but so far, their challenges have been relatively minor. Shaun and Lea are getting made of stronger stuff with every scene they share. The tests are gonna come. But that’s a large part of why we watch.
"Shaun is coming into the realization that this cocoon of love he's in with Lea might end one day, as what happened with Lea's marriage. He learned that change isn't a problem as long as you change in the same direction. Good marriage fundamentals here. -- Guaind97 on Twitter
"That again gives me the idea that the writers are preparing the couple for some tough challenges in the second half of the season. Challenges that they only can overcome together." -- Andreas (via Twitter)
Other tidbits from the episode
-- Did anyone else notice that right at the top of Lim’s walk-n-talk with the St B’vites, she mentioned it was “a three day weekend with a full moon”... leading into her lie about how she got the giant bruise on her forehead? I took note that Lim was saying that in an episode that aired on MLK day (third day of a 3-day weekend), making me think of times we’ve discussed TGD timespans vs. real ones... but in studying lunar calendars, I see that the next full moon is not until this coming Thursday (January 28)-- no three-day weekend there. Hmm.
-- Dr. Enrique Guerin gave some of us some major “Gonzo on Trapper John M.D.” vibes with his van set-up in the St. B parking lot. OK, when I say “some of us” I mean those that are old enough to remember Trapper John M.D. (a medical drama that ran on CBS from 1979-86). As for him and Claire… I’m only interested if he really does become some sort of platonic friend whose relationship wisdom and laid-back vibes are able to help propel Claire forward in some manner. (Somehow I doubt this is what the writers have in mind.)
-- For the second time in two years (and almost at the exact same time in January as last year), Shaun came to Dr. Andrews with questions about love and relationships. And for the second time in two years, it came as a process of elimination. Last time Shaun had determined Glassman not a proven-enough success story to ask; this time, he disregarded three opinions (“Park’s marriage failed… Enrique doesn’t even try… Asher is an unknown quantity”) on his way to challenging Andrews again. The irony, though, comes in the fact that I don’t think we’ve seen Andrews’ wife on-screen since season one (with a minor story arc about fertility issues)! Since I tend to agree there’s no room on the current TGD canvas for Andrews’ wife to re-surface, I guess it’s nice that they keep finding ways to verify the marriage is still going strong. (They also did so, in a way, with the scenes of Andrews in his makeshift garage living space during the “Frontline” 2-parter.)
Glassy w/Mr. Rogers vibes... will he be more Mr. Rogers-like with Lea this season?
“PARENTING”: the meet-the-folks episode we’ve waited for
As you surely know by now, Monday January 25 is the day that Shaun-- I mean, we-- I mean, SHAUN will meet Pam and Mike Dilallo (Lea’s parents) for the first time.
Do you know what ELSE this means...!?!?!
We’ll FINALLY get to hear Lea’s last name spoken on the show!😲
Anyway… as you also surely know (or figured, at least), none of the names that you and I floated last summer for the roles of Lea’s mom and dad were cast in the roles. But no matter, the show’s about to happen and that’s what counts. Here’s a crash course on who’s who:
Barclay Hope (Mike Dilallo) is a Canadian actor (b. 1958) whose extensive TV credits include Riverdale, Eureka, and Stargate SG-1.
Julie Warner (Pam Dilallo) hails from New York (b. 1965) and had starring roles in early 90s films such as Doc Hollywood (opposite Michael J. Fox) and Mr. Saturday Night (opposite Billy Crystal) before settling into a wealth of minor TV roles, a recurring role on Nip/Tuck among them.
Pulled from the ABC promo for "Parenting"
What will happen once we get past all the introductions? Here are a few of my inside knowledge-free speculations, outside what I’ve already mentioned:
-- The initial encounter won’t go well (duh)... either Shaun will be so afraid of saying the wrong thing he’ll barely speak at all, or he’ll tilt the other direction, saying anything and everything.
-- Of her two parents, I’m going to guess that Lea has bigger issues with Mom than with Dad. I’m not sure how those will manifest themselves in this episode, but I’m curious to see if anything further gets said about Mama D and prescription medications (see “Fault” for the reference).
-- Lea’s estranged (assuming it still is?) relationship with brother Donnie should crop up. It’d better crop up. Please? (C’mon, Dilallos, we need to know what’s happening with all that.)
-- Shaun’s ASD getting discussed is practically a given; how it gets discussed will be interesting to see. Will it be discussed openly in front of him, or will we have a rare Lea scene where Shaun is nowhere around? How will he react and respond to such a discussion? Will anything from their darkest days of season 3 be addressed yet?
-- All discussions of the ex aside… how much grilling might Mama and Papa D do in the direction of Shaun and Lea getting married in the future? Will they bring up the prospect of future grandkids? What will Shaun and Lea’s reaction be if they do?
-- Finally… what kind of “note” will the episode end on, and what magic words will Shaun come up with if it ends on a good one?
The floor is yours! Whether you want to discuss “The Uncertainty Principle” or “Parenting,” please leave a comment and join the conversation!
29 comments:
So, for one I’ll start the discussion! Sorry again in advance for the very long post, I have a lot to say! I had written down some of my thoughts a few days ago already, and there are some things about which I’d love to have Shea fans’ opinions (about the ex and about Lea’s character development on her relationship with Shaun) and it’s the best place to discuss them :)
I really liked the episode, of course first for the Shea scenes, but also because how they used the theme of change, how it brings uncertainty in life, and what it means when you’re in a relationship. It was a great life lesson for Shaun, and it’s nice that he seems to come to an answer by himself rather than taking an opinion from someone else as the conclusion. He admirably got over his fear of possibly losing Lea by finding this solution of both changing in the same direction.
However, he was able to do so also because Lea gave him space, didn’t try to sugarcoat things but also remained gentle and patient while he was trying to get his head around Lea’s news of having an ex and so having loved and then stopped loving someone. Shaun’s tirade in Lea’s office (yeah for the show finally mentioning Lea’s surname!!) was cute and funny. I laughed at Shaun’s «it started in one».
So, regarding Lea’s ex, it turned out to not be a big issue in itself! Shaun’s issue was indeed less about Lea having had a husband, and also not that much about her not telling him about it, but about the fact that she had previously loved a guy enough to marry him – a neighbor that she grew up with - but then got divorced and now is out of her thoughts. Nevertheless, beside the parallel with Shaun with «the guy next door», it’s clear that Lea’s relationship with Shaun is more mature and that Lea’s love for Shaun is strong.
Some thoughts/questions about this ex thing:
1) did Lea never live together with her ex? She said to Shaun in ep 4 «I didn’t think moving in would be a discussion I would ever have with a boyfriend», but as you said Kelli Lea living the ski machine with her ex implies that they probably lived together. Or it’s simply that the writers didn’t plan things ahead with the ex-husband story (but it’s poor planning/writing with only 3 episodes apart).
2) not mentioning before that she had been married because it didn’t count seems like a lame excuse. I blame the writers for this, but it doesn’t make much sense as she would have certainly mentioned having a neighbor as a childhood best friend while growing up. Unless she just didn’t want to bring him up to not have to mention the marriage with him since she considers it as a big mistake and visibly a failure in her life.
3) Lea said «we quickly realized it was a mistake». But more than that, her annoyance at having received this ski equipment implied by her words «it’s not like it was in his way» makes it seem like they didn’t end things in good terms. Maybe he hurt her somehow or they just had a very big argument?
4) Like Lea mentioning her mother twice was seemingly a telltale sign that she would soon appear in the show, Lea’s ex being brought up will probably mean we’ll see him too. I mean, why send her the ski equipment back suddenly 10 years after they apparently lost all contact with each other? Doing it now could be a first approach by the guy to make himself known again because he wants to rekindle things with Lea.
I also have a question about Lea’s behaviour regarding her relationship with Shaun and I would love to have your thoughts on this: I’m surprised and even confused at how quick Lea went from being very afraid to seemingly having now no fear whatsoever and dealing with everything in a very cool way. Indeed, first she was «we can’t be together, I’m needy, selfish, etc.» because she was convinced the relationship would inevitably fail and she would lose him, then she was a bit worried of starting to stay over at the apartment, then she was afraid of moving back in, talking about a lack of trust. (Cont')...
Now she’s the one reassuring Shaun by asserting that «our relationship won’t end in a disaster» and not only didn’t she flinch at all when Shaun said «for the rest of our lives» but she approved wholeheartedly (sidenote: is it just me reading into the exchange «for the rest of our lives» → «we do» as a foreshadow of a marriage proposal? Probably just me ;-) ). It’s great how she trusts that their relationship is strong, but to me it hasn’t been properly developed and it is a bit odd that she’s now always totally fine with everything. But it’s partly due to the fact that we’ve never seen Lea talk about her relationship with Shaun to other people, we don’t know what she thinks, how she has been feeling, so it’s really needed.
It could also be that the producers and writers wanted to not show Lea having doubts for too many episodes because of how she was heavily criticized in the previous season, and so that they can invest more time showing her being a totally understanding, supporting, patient, and loving girlfriend. The scene with Lea being totally fine with the poll, even laughing about it and even more participating to it, is a perfect example, it’s like the writers were telling us «see how great she is! She completely accepts him!». And it was nice seeing that. But, I think that anyone should be able to be just a little pissed off by their boyfriend/girlfriend exposing their intimate life like that, without being criticized for it. Here, Lea not being allowed to react less positively seems like she necessarily has to accept it because it’s part of him being autistic and she would be a bad girlfriend if she didn’t. What is also odd, is that in episode 5 Shaun refrained himself from talking about his intimate life with Lea to the 2 interns, as if he had learned that he shouldn’t talk about it with his colleagues.
Of course, Lea has still to learn some things. I also expected her to apologize to Shaun about not telling him about her ex. More importantly, I agree with you Kelli, that Lea needs to realize that there are things that she should tell Shaun, even if it’s not important to her or if it might upset or be a burden for Shaun, as it’s important to do so to build the trust she talked about.
Beside Shaun and Lea, I liked that Morgan and Claire’s friendship seems to be back on track, and that Claire decided to stay in the friendship zone with Enrique. However, C and E’s exchange is reminiscent of Lea and Shaun’s discussion in season 2, with Shaun saying that feelings can change, so it might be foreshadowing for C and E.
About «Parenting», I’m looking forward to seeing the 2é dinner scenes. I’m thinking that Shaun will have a lot of trouble dealing with Lea’s parents’ rejection and the episode might either end with him talking it out with the parents or for once with things unresolved, in some sort of cliffhanger where he’s so overwhelmed that he runs away. I’m considering this, first because things are going too smoothly with Shaun and Lea’s relationship, they’ve had a few issues but they were resolved quickly, and on the professional side it doesn’t seem that much conflict will happen very soon, so something bigger on the personal side is bound to happen. Also, ABC released a promo picture with Lea showing Shaun a text sent by her parents «we need to talk about Shaun», and given her clothes, I think this scene, then the scene with Lea and Dr Glassman are near the end of the episode, and Lea seems distraught. In the trailer, we also see Shaun at a hotel or train station, and it’s probably at the end of the episode, after knowing that Lea’s parents don’t accept him. Finally, since there will be a short hiatus after this episode maybe the writers planned the episode in relation to that and decided to end the episode with an unresolved matter. Maybe I’m making a mountain out of a molehill, pretty much like with the ex story, but meeting the parents and being rejected appears far more challenging for Shaun than Lea not telling him about her ex…
Hi, I'm Mary and this is my first comment on your blog. I find your reflections very interesting and you always capture every detail. I'm an Shea shipper and can't wait to watch the next episode. I have a guess about what could happen: it could be that Lea's parents approve of Shaun but they believe that their daughter is not able to give him the stability (or something like that) he needs. This could rekindle in Lea the worries she had when she initially rejected Shaun. It would be a way for the writers to go deeper into Lea's character and give an important and tough challenge to their reletionship. What do you think about it?
P.S. I may have made some mistakes, English is not my mother tongue and I need to improve it.
I really want them to revisit that conversation at the end of "Autopsy" with Lea expressing her fears of committing to Shaun. I know she summed it off with an "I was so stupid for not seeing it..." But we were never giving reasons why she felt those insecurities. I believe Shaun is the first relationship she has had that has been serious for her. With her parents visiting this has to be the way the writers dig deeper into Lea's psyche and reveal why she felt she "is a challenge to be with..."
Lea standing up for Shaun or vice versa to her parents would be wonderful to see.
Oh, so much fodder to digest and discuss and so little time left… Guess I have to pick.
I really enjoyed that the writers did not turn the ex-husband into a soap opera (at least not yet, indeed he has Lea’s current address) but instead used it as an effective hook for the greater theme of change and adaption to it. That was the show at its best, especially since the writers managed to weave in references to episodes way back to seasons 1 and 2, reminding us how much has changed for the characters in four years:
Lim giving out orders for extra trauma calls in the ER because of people going wild was reminiscent of 210 “Quarantine Part One” when she informed her hook-up Melendez of managing the ER on Christmas. Later, Lim was putting yet another pizza in the oven (313 “Sex And Death”), although literally this time, because after dealing with two deadly viruses she is really alone.
Claire telling the venture capitalist to plan for a divorce and get the hell out addressed once again all the trauma she had to go through while caring for her bipolar mother.
Morgan telling Claire “I like being your bestie. Slumber party?” was referring to the character’s introduction in 114 “She” with “… you and I are not gonna be friends, hanging out, having sleepovers, …” – How far these two have come, indeed.
And finally, as Syl already mentioned, Claire and Enrique having Turkish Coffee re-enacted the conversations about being friends and changing feelings Shaun and Lea had in 205 “Carrots”.
Probably, there was more I did not catch at first glance, but I guess it already demonstrates how much care and thought went into this reflection on how persons and personal relationships change over time.
Now, since Morgan accidentally discovered an earthquake kit in Claire’s trunk last season, I’m just wondering if there is any significance to them finding a diamond ring in the patient’s bowls… ;)
As to offer some possible answers to Syl’s questions:
1) Lea and her ex probably lived together, while Lea’s comment in “Not the Same” was referring to the need to explain the significance of this stepstone in a relationship to Shaun.
2) Consider that as a drawback of a TV series usually only renewed for the following season.
4) Lea’s ex-husband might make himself known later again, but for now I assume that this low-key introduction was a prelude to meeting Mama & Papa Dilallo, giving us some necessary context for the conversations to come.
Welcome Mary! The Dilallos liking Shaun while doubting her own daughter is a compelling idea, especially because they would effectively insult both, their daughter for not being fit to a task, and Shaun for being an infant that has to receive special care (while Shaun actually just needs some understanding and space to be himself).
Though, for now, I assume the writers might apply a straight-forward approach with the parents discriminating against Shaun’s ASD – because we haven’t had that since season 2, which is a little bit… unrealistic. There is much more discrimination against us on the spectrum than we have seen so far in seasons 3 & 4.
P.S.: watching today's new promo for "Parenting" it seems like Lea is the one freaking out about an "ambush" by her parents, so we will likely see Shaun stand up for Lea against her parents in some way - woulb be about time after all the he has done this season alone. ;)
I also have some idea how Morgan might be drawn into the rehearsal - she might identify a lot with Lea about having parents that are never satisfied with their daughter.
Thanks for the welcome, Andreas! :) I think an approach would be an excellent opportunity to discuss these prejudices that people have towards ASD and then give a positive message in order to help break down these prejudices.
As for Morgan, it could be as you say Andreas; while Glassman plays the part of the villain as he has always been against Lea.
Haha, good point Mary! ;) My best guess is that both Glassman AND Morgan get drafted by Shaun for their common qualities: not liking Lea and being espacially grouchy/bitchy. Although my idea above might explain why Morgan would participate besides her wanting to help Shaun in dire need.
We asked for Lea information...and we got it!
Oh, and I caught the name on the door too! On-screen Dilallo verification, baby!!!
Maybe this wasn't the kind of information we WANTED to see. I'm sure it would have been easy for the writers to give us "Lea was abandoned, Lea was abused...now feel sorry for her, you haters!" But they proved to be great game-makers and threw us ALL a wrinkle!
I agree that it would have been nice if the subject of an ex-husband had come up sooner. But I don't see it as a cardinal sin. In my limited and anecdotal experience with a couple of people I've talked to, the topic of a quick-fling marriage came up during the "dating and steady" phase of a relationship. A phase Shaun and Lea are currently in.
As to the next episode, I also lean toward the "twistier" side of things. I'm not as fearful that it'll be a rush to judge Shaun for who he is - or specifically his ASD (I agree that it might come up, but can see it not being a particularly large part of their judgment). Instead, it could simply be that they "judge" Shaun simply for being the man dating their daughter - although Shaun may very well take it more personally.
I agree with Kelli that the subject of Lea's brother - or at least a reference to him - should come up. After all, Lea has made reference to the chaos of her own family situation a couple of times now. Even if that storyline goes by the wayside of the Andrews adoption arc, at least we're seeing something serious for Lea with the sudden arrival of her parents. And something that could be the catalyst for a more significant Shea challenge / conquest!!
Thank you Andreas for providing some answers!
I had posited in Kelli's previous post that Morgan might have been picked to play Lea's mother because they have similar personalities, in the sense that Morgan is as you say in an other post "bitchy" and grouchy. However I like your idea better, because it could potentially mean that Morgan could become friendly with Lea, although in one shared scene only it's unlikely...
I love the comments of everyone, I thank Kelli for the space. Here I can see the opinions of the real fans of the series. I confess to liking it until the very moment of Lea’s backstory, So far, we’re seeing the development of a mature relationship, as Shore and Freddie proposed in the interviews.
And Syl also interpreted «for the rest of our lives» as a harbinger of marriage. In the link interview below, Freddie Higmore says that 'Shaun’s relationship with Lea will reach the point of...you know what it’s like to be with a person for a long time. '
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2vd6HNpls_U
Hi all-- and WELCOME Mary! Thanks for joining the comments! I, too, have wondered if the twist might be that her parents will question HER ability to pull her weight in the partnership (Though Andreas is correct in that discrimination against those on the spectrum has not reared its ugly head for a while). I'm wondering if, should Lea feel brought down by whatever her parents have to say about her as a person, Shaun could remind her that not only does he believe in her... but that he himself would have never become a surgeon if he'd taken his parents' unkind/thoughtless words to heart.
Syl! So much good stuff in your posts! (everyone else too!) I should try to double-back and address a lot of these great comments during the 2 week break that I hear is coming after this episode...
A NEW QUESTION FOR READERS (I just posted the same Q on Twitter):
We know #Shea work on "practice" questions leading up to dinner with the Dilallos, but what ACTUAL Qs do you think they'll field?
I'll start...
"Lea, have you thought about what you'll do if you two have a child on the spectrum?" (Subtext: You're not cut out to handle that kind of challenge, dear.)
Sorry, I know I'm jumping right past the uncomfortable ("Do you think you two will have kids?") into the outrageous, but it's only an hour-long episode, folks :)
The practice-questions are so hilarious dull that I believe you're on the right track here, Kelli. The parents' questions will most likely cut right into the heavy stuff about their long-term plans, if they plan on marriage and having a family. If the parents thought Shaun is just another round of Lea's serial monogamy run, they would not invest into a surprise visit - they are there to ask the hard questions.
First of all, loved the last episode. I felt the vibe of old TGD episodes where everything has the proper closure and all feels like flowing into the same direction. Very well written. However, there are things that I think that writers are still in debt when it comes to Shea.
1) the whole ex husband arc seemed stretched, too over the top to explain something that could have been easily explained with just Lea having an ex boyfriend or Fiancé even, which makes me think that we might have a visit from the ex husband eventually at some point (not very fan of this but whatever, I'm not writing the series ¬¬)
2) yes, Lea should have apologized because she hide that information which many consider relevant for a long time. But, writers work along with what Shaun needs and in this case as we have said it, he wasn't worried about her omission but more with her forgetting this other person. So, I believe that if Shaun would have said "I wish you would have told me" or "It's not right to hide things like that" Lea would eventually replied with an apology, but this wasn't the case.
3)I love the reference to the rest of their lives and how she replied with no hesitation at all, she even gave him a nodding and a sweet smile. She knows that this time this relationship is important, more than any other one she might have had in the past and she is all in for it, so are we are.
Regarding parenting I have my takes on a few things, the clip they showed yesterday made me more curious because Shaun seems oddly not thrown by the visit while Lea is evidently super concerned about it. This change can be due to the fact that for Shaun, parents aren't an issue. For him, considering his own backstory, the subject is simply not important but for Lea is and I wonder if at some point maybe Lea will feel like he is not taking things seriously when it comes to that causing them to have some sort of argument, nothing big but more like "C'mon I need a little help from the person I love". Which might be resolved at the end, because Shaun seems to go and speak with her parents after all.
Regarding the odd questions there's one that came to my mind:
If one of you gets a job somewhere else, would you leave to be with the other? Meaning are you willing to change your life in order to stay with the person you love?
Can't wait for today's episode!
Just a thought that crossed my mind right now: what will be the overarching theme of the upcoming episode “Parenting”?
The synopsis says the patient of the week is -teenage- gymnast suffering from over-training.
We might assume that this athlete is trying hard to live up to expectations placed on her, especially by her parents (thinking of the stereotypical skating mom… *wink* )
In this context, it makes sense that Lea is freaking out while Shaun is relatively calm. Lea is feeling pressure to live up to her parent’s expectations as well. Thus, as some speculated here already, we might see the parents laying much pressure on Lea as well and the overall objective of the episode might be that the protagonists free themselves from these expectations and stand up for their own.
That could also mean that this episode might be a little more about Lea’s POV than usual.
Thank you Kelli for your nice words. There will indeed be time to discuss more about some things during the break!
Regarding your question about the practice questions, i had in fact thought a few days ago about what Lea's parents might ask her/them that would be uncomfortable and the first ones that came to me were child-related as well. And I agree with Andreas, her parents are here to ask the hard questions.
Other than that:
- to Lea or Shaun : why do you love him/her? Not necessarily uncomfortable, but the question would have a different purpose depending on if it is asked to Lea or Shaun: for Shaun, as a way to see if he understands what love is since the parents may have preconceived notions on the ability of someone with ASD to love in a romantic way. And for Lea, to test her love for him and judge if she loves him more than her previous boyfriends, and/or to demean Shaun, in the sense "how can you be with someone with ASD". Shaun is very different from her previous boyfriends, and not just because of his ASD, so her parents may be even more curious to know about Shaun, be inquisitive about him and the depth of their love for each other, and question Lea's ability to live with him in the long-term.
- to Shaun: what about your parents? We don't know if Lea has told them about his parents, and if not then it would be a delicate topic for Shaun. Or they know a bit about his childhood but they will question him about his brother and father, just to test his reaction...Or it might just be a question about why/how he became a surgeon that could lead him to talk about his brother.
So many possibilities! I hope that the scene won't just be 1-minute long!
https://youtu.be/Bkeb693fALU
So... the writers indeed went for both, Shaun AND Lea being insulted by her Mom.
Yet, isn't that another beautiful declaration of love by Shaun indicating that her parents are now only second to him in loving her?
I agree with you all about lots of things about 4x08. The highlights for me from the episode are:
1. Lea and Glassy's new dynamic. He likes her! Yeay! But of course, him being the second father figure-like to Shaun will always make him grouchy towards Lea, but still.... HE LIKES HER! Of course he does!
2. Shaun declaring his love for Lea is the number 1 love and her parents being the second, or worse, like way below in the rank..
3. Claire being extra worry about Lim because she reminds her of her mother and how Lim's struggle combating her ptsd and her hesitant in actually doing so makes me worry it could set Claire spiral due to disappointment that turns out Lim tells her they're not friends after everything that has happened WOW. If Claire is not spiraling, which is good, I'm super worried about their friendship now, their friendship is good. Plus that scene where Lim just snapped and acted so childish throwing the contents of their purses.. *chef's kiss** hmmm maybe aside from Glassman, Claire will confide to Morgan about this, too, which I support Breznick!
4. The short interaction between Olivia and Morgan.. once again, her bitchiness actually helped people.. Their interaction reminds me of how Morgan interacted with Shaun, showing that she actually cares for him so much... she cares about the newbies!
5. Lea's parents actually like Shaun but they're still prejudiced as heck... but this time it's about Lea, or about Lea and Shaun's relationship. They really don't trust their daughter, which makes me recall why Lea rejecting Shaun twice before the earthquake.
6. Lea actually stands up against Glassy declaring her and Shaun's relationship isn't immature, too soon and too fast, implying if there are pent-up troubles or past unresolved issue, they'll be strong enough to get over it together when those come to resurface.
Aaand here's little somethings that was bothering me in the episode...
1. Lea's complicated family wasn't really obvious, was it? Far as I can tell, it's trust issues they have of Lea because she gets bored and moves on quick, the mistakes she has done disappointed them and them thinking what a irresponsible child she is and there's no way she could survived in a relationship with Shaun without hurting either or both of them..
2. I was also kinda disappointed with how Morgan was underutilized in the dinner practice, she didn't even share a line with Lea! It feels like the awkwardness and tensions between Lea and Glassman actually shut her up, and it doesn't fit her... what's up with that? don't tell me Morgan and Lea are actually friends now.. I mean, I want them to be friends, but sarcastic friends, you know...
3. We've seen little seeds about Lim's arc, Shaun and Lea's arc, Glassman and hospital's arc, newbies and Andrews (by extension also with Lim and Shaun).. I still don't see the the big development for Park and Morgan, and this episode feels like everything comes together, but not them. I get that Park's arc maybe has something to do with change, his arc is always about change and adaptation, which last episode should be a good tie-in. Morgan's arc, I suppose it maybe about her presence within the main team and her comrade, but she looks like she accepts her situation as a GP doc or ER doc and she's still being involved in her old colleagues' lives. I think I'm just impatient...
4. The constant reminder that there is a certain cow-bell of doom lurking inside Shea's apartment.. somehow replacing the presence of the baseball cuz we never see it again? I guess troubles come fast for this newly couple.
5. And finally.............. CAN WE TALK ABOUT THE PROMO FOR 4x09, PLEASE????! I mean, Andreas and I, and I hope other bunch of us Shea fans, kinda agree that a little bit of jealousy will do Lea and her relationship with Shaun good. Also, especially Shaun will get the chance to learn more about life, specifically lust and love.. but boy the cow bell really has me nervous. That and we're approaching 10... still so many episodes remain and lots of possibilities will happen down the line. Kelli, a post about the teaser to 4x09 will be so much appreciated, but of course do it on your time and we all will follow you :D
I'm sorry if it's too long. Lol. The last two episodes give so much and many feelings. It reminded me how good was the first season and how good the writers are.
<<>>>
Not too long at all, Faghost!
Keep going everyone, I'm paying attention...
While I'm still waiting for 408 to come up on my streaming service, just a little thought about why *some* jealousy might push Shea forward in a positive manner.
The latest episodes appear to lean heavily on revisiting themes already played in previous season and jealousy was a big one in season 3 as all on team Shea probably remember vividly. Now, recall what Morgan had to say about it: “It's flattering, stimulating, it means you're committed, and you care. […] like all things, a little is good, and a lot will kill you. My advice: Admit you're jealous, give in to it, and then get over it.”
What Morgan was trying to say to Carly was that working through the jealousy would provide a new perspective to the relationship, enforcing the pros and cons and - if overcome – might strengthen the relationship because the couple knows better why it matters.
Lea has issues with commitment and self-esteem, we all hope and long for the show to address that specifically.
I plan to leave some more detailed comments on your next post. But for now, I would like to offer a few words of calm and reassurance to some of my fellow Shea fans:
1. This episode we just had was AWESOME! This was on-par with "Quarantine Part 2" and "Friends and Family" in terms of showing just how much Lea cares for and respects Shaun. People here who have seen my other comments about these two episodes should know I hold those two episodes in VERY high esteem, which says a lot about "Parenting"!
For those who haven't seen it yet, don't let the worries about the next episode take away from the pure joy of this episode.
2. The "next episode" promo was just that - an ABC promo designed to get a rise out of people and spark discussion. I've seen some people get VERY worried (almost irrationally so), and I truly feel that ABC got its intended effect and then some! I don't believe for a second that the show's going to have its main protagonist give into temptation, lest he lose the sympathy and support from such a huge portion of the audience. This is not DEFCON-1; this is not a Doomsday siren. Even so, it'll be interesting to see just how it DOES play out on February 15.
I agree with Tony. The promo for the next episode aims to spark discussion and create a strong suspense in these two weeks off. I don't think Shaun will kiss the new radiologist, it's just his imagination, because he says "I am having thoughts I don't want to have" . He has always been honest, so he will tell Lea how he feels and that will surely hurt her. This makes me think of Glassman's words "It's rarely intentional" that he addresses to Lea, but, out of all expectations, Shaun will hurt Lea. In my opinion, moreover, this dynamic will serve to counter the Lea's haters who say that sooner or later she will hurt Shaun, without thinking that it could be the opposite, as it seems to be in fact. Anyway, I'm sure Shaun and Lea will overcome this challenge too.
Hey you all!!! I know that probably Kelli will post something later on, but my question beyond the "promo" for which I agree with Tony and Mary in that it is a misleading promo with words and images taken out of a context with the purpose of creating drama, kudos because they got me �� sorry I'm weak. My question is, yeah Shaun will be honest but how do you think that Lea will handle this situation, how are they going to overcome this? Because to know that your partner is having thoughts with another woman, even if he doesn't act upon them, hurts and it will hurt Lea's self esteem even more. You don't feel good enough, you feel like he has to be looking out for something you can't give him bla bla bla. So, how? How you move on after such painful declaration.
I'm leaning to the whole almost kiss as a daydreaming or thought from Shaun, the whole situation is so unlike him, he is sitting so close to a person he barely knows and he is allowing her to touch him. Seems like a product of someone's else imagination to be honest.
The lack of physical content between Shaun and Lea is killing me, sincerely I miss their interactions to be sweeter and loving beyond words. Even tho, "Parenting" is up on my list as one of my favorite episodes ever.
Because Odysseus threated the balance of power within the Olympus, Zeus sinks the hero’s ship, killing all but him. Odysseus strands on the shores of the island Ogygia, home to the nymph Calypso.
Calypso falls in love with the hero on first sight and enchants the exhausted Odysseus with her beauty and singing, keeping him on the island for seven years. Yet, Odysseus does want to return to his wife Penelope and finally Zeus orders Calypso to release the hero.
Since Homer’s Odyssey, dealing with temptation has been an essential part of the hero’s journey.
Originally, I had planned to wait for Kelli’s next blog post before I would write down my thoughts. Though, the promo for 409 has created some havoc within the fans, prompting me to share some ideas that might calm the nerves. Now, let’s look at the series through the eyes of a screen writer, shall we?
What’s the state of Shea now after episode 408? Lea has worked through her well-known commitment issues, although mostly off-screen and made two leaps of faith for Shaun: first by entering the relationship back in episode 320, then by moving back in (episode 404) because of her reasoning that it was to happen anyway.
Both have committed to their love by stating that they plan to stay together indefinitely. And while Shaun repeatedly announced his love for Lea in various ways, she was willing to choose him over her parents.
One premise of season 4 is to explore how Shaun fares in a committed relationship. This relationship is now defined, stable and working – with still 12 episodes to go and 2 episodes before the mid-season climax.
Enter Shaun’s Calypso!
[End Part 1 of 3]
[Part 2 of 3]
Dealing with a temptation, another woman he feels drawn to, is sure a challenge worth to explore. And while this might feel like an unnecessary iteration of of the Shaun-Carly-Lea triangle, there are important differences.
Assuming that Shaun might suffer from comorbid alexithymia, he had to go a long way in season 3 to realize that he loved Lea more than Carly; and he struggled to express that, too. Thus, he did hold onto his “just-friends mantra” for the longest time possible.
This season it is different: Shaun has better access to his emotions now and is practicing on expressing and sharing them, with an emphasis on how much he loves Lea. Which lead to the oversharing on very personal information since episode 401. As the promo for episode 409 suggests, Shaun is confused about feelings for someone not being Lea! And… he discusses this freely as well with his peers… which leaves us with some exciting options for this story to unfold:
a) “I think about sex with everyone. But mostly with Carly,” Shaun confessed to Morgan at the beginning of 313 “Sex and Death”. Morgan took this announcement – technically including herself – somewhat amused and relaxed.
Yet, as we have witnessed since, Shaun lives his sexual desires vividly and with little inhibitions: waking Carly for early morning sex; requiring her to cut the lunch break short; and did you notice how he expected Lea to engage in shower sex without little notice once he had made up his mind?
Shaun has been lucky so far that Carly and Lea have been on the same page with Shaun’s desire for sex, but there is some danger of Shaun forcing himself onto his partner one day. Shaun has still to learn how to control his sexual desires.
The new storyline might teach Shaun to discern lust and love, something he previously saw as the same (he explicitly missed the sex with Lea in episode 401, but not her presence!) and how to keep within mutually agreed boundaries. Which is another problem Shaun has in season 4: by oversharing details of his sex life, he’s constantly violating personal and professional boundaries. We have seen this as early as in episode 401 with Park, with Lim and Claire and the sex toys, with the recent poll on shower sex. Shaun has been given considerably room to do this since last year, thus his peers, up to Lim, have to bear some of the blame themselves, but their patience with Shaun is probably growing short due to frequency and their individual problems, e.g., Lim’s PTSD.
[Part 3 of 3]
b) Lea being afraid to lose Shaun to another woman might serve as a start to work on Lea’s self-esteem issues. A trait that was already played into with Shaun insulting her because of her voice.
c) Lea was well aware of the shower-sex-poll before Shaun bothered to tell her, so I’m curious if we will be served with a scene on someone breaking the news to her, which might help to form some ties with other cast members in the long run.
d) Boardshorts' polyamory isn't as random as it felt when introduced but will provide a perspective for Shaun that will be in stark contrast to what his other colleagues presumably may provide. There wouldn’t be much good to Shaun’s usual approach of collecting opinions if they were all voting for monogamy, would it?
e) Remember the “annual fundraiser” in episode 115 “Heartfelt”? With yet another fundraiser on the horizon, this storyline might either start or culminate there. Jared broke up with Claire at the party in 115; Lea planned on drowning her sorrows with Kolsch beer in 319 before being unpleasantly interrupted by a natural disaster – there’s some tradition with the show…
For a narration, this is a worthwhile challenge to the relationship, with multiple avenues to explore. It might even be the lead-in for the mid-season episode (if the writers uphold the season-structure despite the delays due to the pandemic). Though, I doubt that this Calypso marks the end of journey. It is designed to lead into a new direction.
So much good stuff in Parenting!! I won't develop my thoughts now and will wait for your post Kelli. Just a few things :
- Everything you mentioned Faghost is pretty much a summary of the same thoughts I have of the episode!
- Regarding the scene Lea-Glassy, it was in fact my favorite one, as it was at the top of my wish list and I have been wanting to see this this type of exchange for a long time!
- Regarding the promo for the next episode, I was disappointed at first, but there is no need to panic. Andreas, I like how you explain the temptation of a hero through Odysseus' story, it puts things in perspective very nicely in regards to Shaun. I think it's also logical to see something like this explored for Shaun,whether it is a fantasy or really happening (but then Shaun will probably step back), and although it will make Lea sad, she'll be understanding, as usual, since she knows he loves her and she'll appreciate his honesty on the subject. And on the matter of hurt, I've been thinking for some time that the writers could turn the tables around and show that Shaun could be the one to hurt Lea; they know that what some "fans" have been saying the most about Lea is that she would break Shaun's heart again,so since it's still obvious that the writers have been working hard on making Lea look good in every episode this season, the hurt was likely to come from Shaun, also to cement the fact that he's not perfect (but close to be ^^) and he shouldn't be perceived as innocent and blameless because he's autistic. I'm still a bit pissed at Shaun kicking Lea out of the apartment and yelling awful things to her while holding a bat; for the latter, i can understand how angry and distressed Lea's rejection made him feel, but the display of verbal violence was hard to watch...
Anyway, i'm confident episode 9 will just have the purpose of throwing another challenge at Shaun and Lea and that it will turn out fine.
As for the fundraiser, I also think we'll see it happen soon, otherwise they wouldn't have bothered showing and renting this big room just for 1 scene.
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