Skating with the Stars Week 4: Oh What a Night, Indeed

If you look at the headlines today at Zap2It.com (where I pull the overnight ratings for stuff like Skating with the Stars), you might find one saying “Skating with the Stars: Still Happening”.

Ouch—and yet it says it all. The good news is that 2 of the 6 original “stars” are doing a decent job, and it might even prove interesting to see who wins this thing. The bad news is that between withering ratings, an increasingly catty Judge Johnny Weir, and more press about Brandon Mychal Smith’s stomach flu than any other aspect of the show… not many WILL see who wins this thing.

But for those still watching, or wanted to but felt compelled to watch The Sing-Off last night… here’s a recap:

First 15 minutes explains the risky required elements of the night, which include an overhead spin, and/or a throw jump, and/or a death spiral (you’re supposed to choose 2, like a soup/salad combo at Panera). We then get the complete drama about Brandon’s continued illness, attempt to come back and compete, and sad decision to drop out—which is all sort of a rerun for those who have followed Keauna McLaughlin’s Tweets this week. Thankfully we don’t have the judges input on his decision—just the standard shiny recap of his handful of weeks on the show, and a chance to thank Keauna. And… buh-bye.

The other 3 couples, or maybe I should say Bethenny Frenkel, are in luck—no one’s leaving this week since Brandon’s already gone. Time to skate, y’all… oh, and by the way John Zimmerman’s dropping by to help out all the remaining teams this week. So the show just got a whole lot better!

Bethenny & Ethan—skating to “Superstition,” they manage a little tiny death spiral (just one revolution, maybe not even a full circle)… then a Detroiter (overhead spin where she’s on her side). Vernon gets a dig about Johnny’s wardrobe before the judges speak. Dick calls himself the Betty White of figure skating and tosses in a “rusty hoot” reference (awesome!) before reminding her for the 24th time to bend zee knees… Laurie Ann gushes, calls her fearless, and apparently doesn’t like getting cut off… Johnny gets his snark on once again by declaring (and this is paraphrased) “if you don’t care what we think, then I don’t care about you!” Meanwhile on the other side of town, the Irony Police see that phone ringing once again. (“Huh? Didn’t we just get back from that show??” they wonder…)
Scores: 6-6-6 technical; 7-6-7 artistic. 38.

Jonny & Brooke: apparently had a rough week (oh, who didn’t and are skating to “Take on Me” The first lift is OK… she does some sort of twist into his arms that’s pretty good… he successfully gets her into a throw double salchow. Lots of laughing at the end, apparently in disbelief that she landed it. As for the judges, Laurie loves it but wants a little more finesse… so does Johnny… Here is a clip if you want to judge for yourself.
Scores: 9-9-9 tech; 9-9-9 artistic. 54!

Rebecca and Fred: I see she’s ditched the tummy-baring tops for practice… good move, especially when you’re practicing moves that could have you skidding across the ice on your belly in a heartbeat. They skate to “Oh What a Night”… they do overhead spin w/her facing ceiling… much longer (by MUCH I mean maybe 3 rotations) death spiral… and another spinning lift at the end? Stop, you’re killing me!

Johnny wants her to rely a little less on Fred… Dick breaks out the terms spiffy and life spiral (oh, fine, confuse her)… and says Rebecca has the “nicest bottom in this competition”. Laurie, meanwhile, wants her to stick her boobs out. Vernon wants her (Laurie) to shut up.
Scores: 9-8-9 tech; 9-9-9 artistic. 53; one point behind Jonny.

Very Special performance: oh, Denis Petukhov has been called back to skate the performance w/Keauna… that’s a nice way to fill the time. It was to “Stronger” (Kanye West). Thought it would be John Zim though…oh well, can’t have everything!

RATINGS UPDATE: more bad news… 3.8 million, which means they lost another million… despite the fact that “House” was a rerun! I don’t think we’ll see this on the ABC sched next season. Next week is the “finale”… following Monday’s show, that is. I guess ABC is gifting us by making sure this is done and served up before everyone else vanishes for the holiday.